~Ash-Twilight

Okay haven't updated for a while so lets get the ball rolling with the title shall we?
Haven't drawn much this summer break and what has come out didn't really seem post-able. Now decent stuff has started coming out agin, only not when I actually am try to plan what I want to draw. So a late birthday gift to a friend is getting even latter and school will be starting soon and the one drawing that I thought had potential I ruined with color pencil cause in the pirate spirit of the image has a lot of color and not enough detail for me to post it and say happy birthday at the same time.
And the worst part is that the concept for the drawing seems pretty cool in my head but the harder I try to put that image on paper the worse the drawing becomes and now I'm practically pounding my head against my sketch book and willing to kill my muse when she gets back from her two month coffee break.
And my head has been hurting for the most part of the day.
and
and
And I'm still feeling as lost as a woods tracker in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean, when it comes with what I want to do with my life. I keep being told to go with my passion but that is reading, history and art and any professions in those categories requires more than four years of school (which I cant afford) and/or a financial state that would require me to have more then one job.
Oh and I've been feeling extremely forgettable considering how little contact I've had with my 'friends' this summer .


I'd like a refund on this reality I've been given and would exchange it if I could cause it kinda really sucks.

*Edit*
Not going to delete this entry since part of it is true though it does sound kinda really bitchy. Been isolated way to long and Ivory slips into my words a bit too easily when it comes to internet.
On the upside one of the gift drawings is actually starting to come out nicely, almost as if I planed out its appearance a head of time.